Time for a New Driver’s License Photo

Groan!  It’s that time again.  Time to get my driver’s license renewed and a new picture taken.  I always dread this ritual every four years.  Today was no exception.  I made it across the river and over to the DMV  in one piece but the first thing I did wrong was turn up an aisle to park going the wrong direction — and this right in front of the entrance into the Dept. of Motor Vehicles building.  Great start, Dee!

I walked into the photo center and up to the counter.  Wow, there were no other people waiting so there was hope that this would go quickly.

“Press the green button over there and take a number,” the lady at the counter commanded.

OK, I looked around for the other folks all waiting with their numbers and still didn’t see any but I dutifully pushed the button and got my number – 235.

“235”, I heard called from behind one of the partitions in the room.  I must have looked puzzled because the lady gave me further instructions.

“Follow the blue footprints painted on the floor.”

I looked down.  Sure enough, there were trails of different colored footprints winding around the partitions.  I followed the blue ones to a cubicle where a clerk sat.  He glanced at me and cleared his throat, jerked his head in the direction of the floor and turned his back on me.  Sheesh, apparently, the blue footprints continued to the other side of his cubicle.  I tramped around the little corner.

“Number?” he said, at least looking at me this time.

“Um, 235,” I answered and handed him the slip of paper.  He looked at me and cleared his throat again.  Oh, there was a little basket on the counter of his partition that said, “Put number here.”  Well, so far I wasn’t doing too good  following procedures.

Then I had to answer a series of questions on a computer monitor – what language did I speak, was I registered to vote, did I want to register as something else, did I want to be an organ donor?  I cleared those hurdles successfully and it was time to have the dreaded picture taken.  One quick snap, it was over, and I was good to go for another four years.

As I was leaving the room, I noticed that the lady I had first talked to had snagged another applicant.
“Put your chin down,” she ordered the poor fellow.  “No, down further,” she said and she prepared to snap his picture.  I shuddered.  This was the lady that I usually got when it was time for pictures and she had a talent for making you tilt your head so far down that you ended up with triple chins.  Thank goodness that I had the BLUE footprints today.

I got back in the car and started out of the parking lot, this time going in the direction of the arrows.  I was behind an elderly gentleman and his wife.  “Ike and Eva” were taking it slow as they circled the parking lot.  Any slower and we could have planted petunias on our way out.  I know their names because it was on their license plate.  But when we got to the stop sign, “Ike” sailed right through it without stopping.   I wanted to yell out my window, “Hey, Ike!  Did you forget to do something?”  I contained myself.

We both headed for the interstate through the side streets of the city.  Just as we got the green arrow to turn, a big semi-truck pulled out of a parking lot and blocked all four lanes going and coming of the road we both needed to turn onto.  “Gosh, I hate cities,” I thought.

Finally I got back across the river and over to my side where at least I was familiar with where things were.  As I headed over to the bagel shop to pick up some lunch, I noticed a police helicopter circling back and forth overhead.   “Hmmm,” I wondered.  “What in the world is going on now?”

I parked, got my bagel and came back out and got in the car.  As I started down the road, I noticed that there were a lot of police cars parked in the bank parking lot just down the street.  Hey, hey!  Looks like there had been a bank robbery just before I got the urge for a bagel.  And I thought all the excitement was on the East Shore!

I’ll tell you what…..any place with more than 300 people in it is pushing the edges of my comfort zone.  Give me a sleepy little farm town any day where the most excitement you have is when someone’s cows get loose.

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Hot Flashed Funk

  • Glad to read that you didn’t mistakenly end up at three mile island like the last time you attempted to go to the DMV. Didn’t you find it the slightest bit suspicious that DMV employees would pull you over with semi-automatic guns?

  • Dee

    Hey, I was lost and I thought it was a factory. They didn’t show me their weapons until I had already pulled into the driveway.


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