Speak Up, Sonny!

Eh, don’t mumble, Sonny!

I’ve developed a bit of a hearing loss these last few weeks.  I’m guessing that it isn’t anything permanent because it came on me during a bout with a sinus and ear infection.  You probably can guess the initial symptoms….the head that feels like a bowling ball is loose inside it, the pain in the eardrum, the pressure.

Within a day of those symptoms, everything started to sound like I was listening to folks underwater.  However, since it was just the one ear, it was like having a stereo system with only one speaker working properly and the other one going from bad to worse.  Ugh!

I’ve been finding myself in stores where I suddenly realize that a clerk was talking to me and I didn’t even realize it.  “Oh, I’m sorry,” I’ll mumble as I ask them to repeat themselves.  I’ve been asking folks to repeat themselves a lot!

When I called up my brother to wish him a Happy Birthday, I mentioned that I had an ear infection and that it was making me deaf in the one ear.

“You probably don’t even realize that anything is wrong, but I can’t hear very well right now, ” I said.

“Oh, trust me, I can tell,” he replied.  “You’re shouting.”

When I take a shower, the water sounds like rain falling on a tin roof — on the half of my head that has the faulty ear.  The other side is just normal.  Brushing my teeth also has a strange sound to it.  One side sounds like everyday garden variety brushing.  The other side sounds like someone is taking a Hoover to the teeth.  It’s like everything is amplified on the “bad” side.

When I was in a knitting class yesterday, I popped some gum in my mouth and started chewing.  I was immediately horrified because the sounds of my chewing sounded like a jackhammer.  I snuck a look around the room.  Nobody seemed to be paying any attention to my mastications so hopefully I was the only one hearing the “amplified” version.  I tried to be a quieter chewer but somehow sucking on a stick of gum isn’t quite as satisfying as chewing it.

Tonight, when the Commander and I were out on our “date” eating, I mentioned how my chewing sounded so loud to me with this ear infection.

“You probably don’t hear me chewing at all, do you,” I said.

“Oh, no, I do,” he answered.

“You’re kidding me, right?” I asked.

“No, for example, on Sundays, when I’m sitting in the recliner in the living room after I eat breakfast, I can hear you chewing when you’re in the dining room,” he observed.

“Well, for Heaven’s Sake, I don’t eat with my mouth open, do I?” I countered.

“No, you just chew loudly,” he replied.

“Well, then…if it bothers you so much, maybe you need to go sit somewhere else,” I snarled.  “Besides, I don’t think you even chew your food.  I think you just let it slide down your throat.” 

So much for Date Night.  And judging from the glances from the other diners, I probably was having this conversation a little louder than I realized.  Humph, go chew on that!

Let’s hope this condition doesn’t last much longer.  In the meantime, if you have something to say to me, you’d best get my attention first and then speak up and don’t mumble.

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Hot Flashed Funk


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