Someone’s Missing!

Our Daughter and her Grandmother

Our Daughter and her Grandmother

I’ve been packing up last-minute things to take down to my daughter when she has her baby.  This is an exciting time, to be sure.  It’s also a bittersweet moment.  As I was down in the basement today looking for a baby gift bag, I found myself thinking, “Oh, how I wish Mom was here.  She would be so excited to hear about Laura’s baby arriving.”  At least I got to tell her that Laura was expecting before she passed away.

The Box

The Box

I glanced over and saw the last box of Mom’s possessions, packed up from her room at the nursing home.  I’d tackled and cleared out every box but this one.  It’s going to be the hardest one to deal with.  In it is the crown that the nursing staff gave her on her 99th birthday to wear on her special day.  It also contains two of her special teddy bears.  The one little bear on the right is the one she always slept with and the one she was holding constantly the last days up to her death.

I’m standing there in the basement on the eve of what should be one of the happiest days of my mature stage of life and the tears are rolling down my cheeks and dripping onto our concrete floor.  I can’t seem to stem the flow.  Is it possible to be happy and sad at the same time?  Apparently so.

Ready for a Bath

Ready for a Bath

I’ve been meaning to wash those little bears so that the grandchildren could play with them.  I think Mom would have wanted that.  Frankly, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to part with them.  They are too closely linked to my last moments with my mother.  Perhaps they will join my own bear, Elizabeth to be played with carefully on special occasions when the children are visiting.

In the meantime, I need to pull it together.  I have a grandson to welcome.  My own mother, if she were still here, would tell me to stop the crying and yet, she’d be the first to understand.   She missed her mother just as much, up until her last breath.

 

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