Pampered, Hershey-Style!

Yesterday daughter Laura came up from Maryland and off we went to the Spa at the Hotel Hershey for a day of pampering.  It was her Mother’s Day/birthday present to me and I was so looking forward to it.  I have several friends who treat themselves to a day at this spa occasionally and they always rave about it so now it was my turn.

We arrived bright and early (two hours before our first treatment was scheduled) so that we could enjoy all of the guest facilities while we waited.  One of the spa concierge staff checked us in and then called for a staff member to show us the facility.  Her first stop was at the lockers where we’d be stowing our personal belongings, including clothes.  She WHIZZED through the instructions on how to set the locks and then started off to show us the steam room.

“Um, excuse me!  Could you go over that again?  I didn’t quite get how to do that,” I said.

She went over it again.  Pick a four-number code and punch it in AFTER you hit the letter “C” and then punch a key symbol.  AARGH!

“Why don’t we slip our purses in the lockers now?” Laura said.  “Then we won’t have to carry them around for the rest of the tour.”

I could feel myself start to panic.  Honestly, my mind went blank.  I couldn’t come up with a four-number code for the life of me.  Laura already had her purse put away and her locker locked back up and was staring at me while I gazed at my control panel, hoping for some inspiration.  I couldn’t imagine how I was going to remember some random number when I wouldn’t have my phone with me that had my trusty password program on it.  That’s the only way I keep all those codes and passwords straight.

I finally keyed in my birthday plus an extra digit and whispered it to Laura.  “You’ll have to remember it because I never will,” I told her.

“Sorry, chemo brain,” I told the bewildered tour guide.

After the grand tour, we changed into our swimsuits and put on our spa bathrobes, slipped on our spa sandals and then headed off to the indoor pool.

“Why are you walking like that?” Laura asked me.”

“These sandals are killing my feet, especially my broken toe.”

“Then go back and ask them for bigger sandals.”

“It’s not that they’re too small.  I have to push my foot way off the end to keep the strap from cutting into that little toe,” I explained, shuffling along like someone from Sing Sing.

Laura quickened her pace and I shuffled dutifully behind and found an empty chaise by the pool where I contentedly read my Kindle while she swam laps.

 After a refreshing swim, we sat in the steam room for awhile and then went back to the lockers (yay, I remembered the blasted code) where we took off the swimsuits and put on our underwear, wrapping ourselves in the bathrobes again.  Then we headed upstairs to the “Quiet Room” to lounge until it was time for our massage.  Oh, boy, the Quiet Room was stocked with coffee, tea, hot cocoa, and chocolate muffins.

We joined others lounging about and I settled down with coffee and muffin to do more reading.  Oh, oh….the blasted bathrobe was too skimpy.  It simply wouldn’t cover my hips when I crossed my legs.  I struggled with it for awhile and then decided I would shuffle downstairs and ask them for a larger robe.  Off I went and they brought me one that fit great.  A bonus was that it had pockets, which the other one didn’t.  Of course, I got lost several times on my way back to the Quiet Room before a helpful staff member turned me in the right direction and I was able to find my way back to Laura.  “How did you rate pockets?” she asked.

Massage time!  Our technicians came to get us and led us to our individual massage rooms.  My technician showed me where to hang my robe, told me to take off my bra and panties and then slip under the covers and she’d return.

“Um, I’m not wearing a bra.  Did you say to take off my underpants?” I asked her.

“You don’t have to if you are uncomfortable with that,” she answered, “but I prefer to do a massage without them on.”

Okey dokey!

When Laura and I met back in the Quiet Room after our massages and were comparing notes, I told her, “The massage was fine but I was a little surprised that she had me remove my underpants.”

“WHAT?” said Laura.  “I NEVER remove my underpants.  How do you always end up with the kooks?”

“I don’t know,” I replied.  “I thought maybe it was the new trend in massages.  How should I know?”

Poor Laura!  We headed off to the Spa’s cafe for their brunch.  It was delicious.  As we sat there eating and chatting, our conversation strayed off on the topic of television.

“People have to be careful what they watch.  What you hear will eventually make its way into your conversation,” Laura was telling me.  She leaned forward and whispered, “Just the other day, Jason actually said ‘C-R-A-P’ when he got frustrated at something.  I told him to stop that.”

I looked at her.  “What did he say?”

“He said the ‘C’ word — ‘crap’.”

“Crap?  Shit, that’s nothing,” I replied.

“MOM!” she wailed.

“Oh, for Pete’s sake, Laura.  Who are you, Mary Poppins?  I say ‘crap’ and ‘shit’ although I usually say ‘shit’ in German and hope no one speaks enough German to understand it.  Where I draw the line is that I don’t say the “F” word or take the Lord’s name in vain,” I told her.

“Well, that is just wrong,” she sputtered.

“I suppose you won’t like my new bumper sticker either, then.  It says ‘If knitting were exercise, you could bounce a quarter off my ass.’ , I told her.

“You put a bumper sticker that says ‘ass’ on your car,” she said, horrified.

“I sure did.  I think it’s hysterical.  AND I even drive that car to church,” I retorted.

“MOM!” she wailed.

“You know, you are going to be one of those people that gets old and gets dementia and then all of these things that you’ve bottled up all of these years is going to come boiling over and you’re going to have the biggest potty mouth ever,” I told her.  “I, on the other hand, will turn into a prim and proper old lady because I haven’t held things back.”

“I’m not going to get dementia,” she countered.  “I do Sudoku.”

“Oh, yeah, well, I do Sudoku, too, plus I play Word with Friends,” I replied, grinning at her.  “Let’s go hit the dessert table.”

It was time for our pedicures.  Wow, we got scrubbed with cocoa bean sugar scrub, had our feet and legs painted with chocolate, then got whipped cream-looking stuff rubbed on them, and finally it was time to get our polish applied.  Laura went with a nice conservative red (no surprise there).  Here’s what I choose:

We relaxed in the aromatherapy room for an hour after our pedicures and then showered and dressed for the trek home.  Before heading out, we stopped at the hotel shops and I picked up some chocolate-scented body lotion.  When you leave the Spa at Hershey, you smell like one big chocolate bar.  I wanted to be able to recreate the experience.

I gave Laura a hug and whispered in her ear when it was time for her to return home, “Thank you, Sweetie, for a fantastic birthday present.  I had a wonderful time.  Any time you want to go back to the spa, let me know and I’ll be glad to join you.  We can take my car next time.” (heh, heh, heh)

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Hot Flashed Funk

  • Sound like a wonderful day!

    And you are bad to say the ‘s’ word to your daughter! LOL. I’m laughing so hard, I can hardly type.

    It is not bad, though, that she is shocked with your language. High standards are difficult to maintain so kudos to Laura if she manages!!


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